I keep going back to that quote that goes something like: "Change is only painful in the proportion of our resistance to it." I think Alan Watts said that. And it harmonizes substantially with how I have been feeling as of late. I graduated college today. But let me take a step backward. These past four years I have been working endlessly to make my personal ends meet, and I never ever thought four years ago that I would be where I am today. Battling so many days where I felt as if I hated everything, and I was certain I would drop out. Now that it is over, I wish I could do it all over again. The other day I was taking the last final that I would ever take as an undergraduate. It was an essay exam, which turned out to be a lot easier than I had expected. When I had written all of the required essays, I sat there with the booklet in my hand for what seemingly felt like an eternity yet still so brief, because I knew that as soon as I stood up to hand the booklet to the professor, that life as an undergraduate would be over as I once knew it. All of the pain, the hardships, the sorrow, the joys, the "blood/sweat/tears" put into my experience...all of that had been surpassed. Things were changing.
And that makes me think that perhaps it has so very little to do with where one starts off in life, and nearly everything to do with how you finish or how you get yourself to be wherever you "need" to be. So after four years, I am starting where I am today, and I feel so excited yet fearful at the same time for all of the impending change. Everything leading up to this moment has been worth it, and I would not change a thing to alter the experience. All of the struggle was necessary for this monumental breakthrough. Besides, water that heats up quickly surely cools off at an equal pace. I will take my time heating up. I am in no rush.
You have to respect wherever you are in relation to other people.
No comments:
Post a Comment